Ten things I've never done ...

Birdy passed the "ten things" baton to me and who am I to resist.

I guess there are lots of things that I've never done. But in the interest of sanity, I'll stick to meaningful things. Some of the following I'm quite pleased about.

I've never

* liked cherries;
* got drunk on red wine for a second time;
* been a girlie girl;
* felt comfortable when meeting new people;
* been able to swim;
* travelled to a non-English speaking country on my own;
* had a door slamming, plate smashing, insult hurling argument;
* got into soap operas;
* eaten pate de fois gras;
* read War and Peace.

So, over to you and you ... tell us about ten things you've never done.

Happy Journeys.

Sisters give birth at 12, 14 & 16

I'm speechless ...

BBC NEWS - Sisters give birth at 12, 14 and 16

Words fail me.

Star Wars Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith

I've been to see Star Wars Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith!!!

To those critics who thought it wasn't a good movie - are you sure you watched the right film?

It was awesome!!

We've had a Star Wars experience in the last couple of days. In preparation for yesterday's movie trip, Hubby, Bro-in-law and I watched Episode 2 Attack of the Clones on Wednesday night. It turns out that I'd forgotten a few key points so it was good to refresh my memory.

On Thursday morning, we got up nice and early for the trip into Leicester Square. Unfortunately it was a grey, drizzly day but that didn't dampen our spirits. At about mid-day we met up with friends who play Star Wars Galaxies and went for a bite to eat.

Some people had made the comment - why go, as you know what will happen? To a greater or lesser extent you know what will happen in most movies, it's the journey to the climax that is important. Even people that aren't Star Wars fans know that Darth Vadar is Luke's father, however without seeing the movie you won't know why and how the Jedi Anakin Skywalker makes the transformation into the Sith Darth Vadar.

As the doors opened to let us into the foyer, a reporter from one of the London radio stations came up to us:
"You're just going in to see the movie, how do you feel?"
Well, durr?!
"What do you hope to get out of the movie?"
One of my friends replied with a conspiritorial whisper, "I don't want to give anything away but I think Anakin is Darth Vader!"
The fixed puzzled grin on the poor woman's face was fantastic. :o)

I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen the movie but Lucas presents this perhaps unbelievable change of heart in such an compelling way. Poor old Anakin's fears and past experiences weight heavily on him - the death of his mother, forbidden love with Padme, his concerns for their future together and his impatience to advance within the Jedi order. This isn't some good flick-switch evil scenario. It is possible to understand why Anakin feels the decisions and actions he takes are justified. Each step takes him one step closer to the dark side as he is subtly manipulated.

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. The Odeon in Leicester Square is very impressive. It was covered in massive Star Wars posters. Inside holds about 1500 people in very comfortable leopard print seats! There were some theatre-like decorations either side of the main screen. And the sound system? Oh my! It was fabulous surround sound - at one point a ship flies from "behind" you on your right and then comes into your field of vision. You actually hear the ship before you see it and know instinctively where it will appear on screen.

The atmosphere inside the theatre was fantastic - people cheered when the lights went down, when the curtains opened, when the BBFC card was displayed, when the Star Wars logo came on screen and then ... silence.

Too many times I've been to see a movie that I really wanted to watch and there have been people chatting, making phone calls, russling sweet papers - but there was none of that. Everyone was intent on enjoying the movie - I'm sure if anyone's mobile had rung, that person would have been lynched.

I was grabbed from the very first second of the movie. In fact, I think I only blinked a few times in the first five minutes! This film is definately darker than the others and there are some very stark moments but the storyline covers some very difficult issues. But in contrast, there are moments of trademark humour from the droids and Obi-Wan. The special effects were fabulous but never effects for effects sake. The fight scenes were very dramatic with each character having their own style - from the experienced Christopher Lee to the youthful Hayden Christensen to the CGI Yoda.

Bearing in mind that this is a sandwich film (a sequel to Attack of the Clones and a prequel to A New Hope) the storyline had to serve two purposes - continuation of the existing story and provide continuity with the next film. There were many little touches which helped tie the two sets of movies together. I'm sure I'll need to see the movie a couple more times to pick up all these little points and to fully appreciate the depth of detail in each scene.

After the movie, we retired to TGI Fridays to share our thoughts before coming home, tired but happy.

George Lucas is a fabulous and accomplished story teller. Now, I wonder if we can get tickets to see it again tomorrow ...

Happy Journeys.

Who am I?

Zinnia recently completed a blogging meme and offered to assist five of her readers to do the same.

As Zinnia explains:
The difference between this and most memes is that the questions are created individually and thoughtfully for each blog, and so give us a chance to find out things about bloggers that we might not otherwise get to know.

So, here are the questions that Zinnia created for me (thank you):


1. If you could solve one, just one, of the problems in our society, which would you choose and why?

I'm going to be sneaky Zinnia (please forgive me), this could mean our society in the UK or the global community so I'm going to provide an answer to both.

In the UK, I would like to address the lack of respect. It's such a little thing that could make such a difference to all our lives. Like an altruistic sandman, I would sprinkle every man, woman and child with respect dust.

Sounds simplistic? Think about it:
If children respected teachers, authority figures and society in general - we wouldn't have the bizarre situations where teachers are attacked, the police are faced with "I know my rights", and people can feel intimidated by groups of kids. If adults respected children, their fellow citizens and society as a whole - there would be no child abuse, robbery or violent crime, or discrimination.

Globally, I would choose to Make Poverty History. It wouldn't solve problems over night but if the debt of the poor nations was wiped out, they would have much more of a chance to improve their own infrastructure, economy and global status. Rightly or wrongly, you can never be treated like an equal when indebted to others.


2. What are you proud to be good at?

English.

I was cogitating, ruminating and speculating over this question. I sought the advice of my beloved life partner. Hubby cited my propensity (hehe, ok, I'm sorry, I'll stop) to correct spelling, grammar and choice of vocabulary in books, newspapers and on television (realising that you're arguing with a tv programme is a little embarassing). I also tend to use a big word when there is a perfectly good small word that would do the job and I do waffle on a bit ... you hadn't noticed? How kind.

(P.S any errors you might find on this page do not demonstrate any lack of skill on my part but are instead due to ... um ... something else!)


3. Now that you are married, what other milestone in your life are you looking forward to?

Owning our own Home

I miss being able to choose the colour of my walls instead of being stuck with
renting-magnolia.
I miss being able to potter around in a little garden - pruning, weeding or just
enjoying my own green space.

Whilst I like our flat, there are obvious limitations to renting in that we can't really personalise our living space. With the house prices as they are at present, it's not a short term goal. But hopefully one day we'll own our own home in a nice quiet neighbourhood. :o)


4. Journeys are an important symbol for you. If you could only take one more actual journey in your life, where would you go and why?

There are a number of locations on my "places to see" list so this could be difficult.

After studying Renaissance Europe and taking art history for a year, I would love to tour Italy to see for myself the beautiful art and architecture I studied in books. Then there's Egypt. Well, need I say more? What a fascinating country. The South American cultures of the Incas and Aztecs interest me greatly. It would be awesome to see the famous Nazca lines. Hong Kong is definately on the list. It seems such a vibrant place and all the more interesting as it is a very western city under the government of China. A trip to Lapland to see the reindeer, huskies and the northern lights (and maybe Father Christmas himself?) is a must for my inner child.

But enough of this, if I could only ever make one more trip ...
It would be to a city in the mid-west of America. There are no great sights to see, well there are one or two but I've seen them before. More importantly, the sister I never had lives there.

We met when we were six and we've been friends ever since. Geographically we're not close and there are others that probably know more about me (there's only so much you can exchange via letters, e-mails and occasional visits) but there is a bond between us that is very special to me.


5. What is the most frivolous purchase you have ever made?

A photographic portfolio.

I had a voucher for a free session at a photographic studio. The only cost would be any photos I wanted afterwards. I could take a variety of outfits with me - they suggested a shirt or blouse for some head and shoulder shots and a couple of dresses. I also took along a set of black lacey underwear and sheepishly asked if I could have some taken in that. The photographer and her assistant were delighted that I'd be brave enough for that.

I had professional photoshoot make-up trowelled onto my face and my hair was put up. I think it was about a two hour session and it was immense fun. I got changed and had a bite to eat and then came back to view the negatives. I realised that's why they give you the session for free as they know you will buy the photos. They were absolutely fantastic. I ended up spending about £750!!

But it's great fun to be able to open the portfolio and say - wow, is that really me?


So, there you have it. If you'd like me to do the same for you, please let me know.

Happy Journeys

Genius Loci

Do you believe in the spirit of place?
I don't mean in the sense of spirits inhabiting or protecting a place but in the sense of a place having a spirit - an almost tangible quality or personality ... or something ... hmmm ...

This is more difficult that I thought, let me instead give you a couple of very different examples.

Clubbing - by this I mean a "proper" club that plays great music for a crowd of people that want to dance and have a great time not a dodgy place filled with men and women more intend on getting drunk and getting off with each other.

I haven't been clubbing for years but even now when I hear certain old house or trance classic anthems, I get that uplifting feeling. Good clubs have a certain spirit. Everyone is there to have a good time, people aren't there to get drunk or to get into a fight. There are no pretensions in a place like - no-one will laugh at you for how you dance as that is the way you want to move. It's energetic, euphoric even. The best club I ever went to was Ministry of Sound. I experienced a bizarre form of sensory deprivation and overload at the same time. There were no superfluous neon, flashing lights so the room was virtually in darkness; whilst there were massive fans blowing in cool air it was hot with the heat from hundreds of people dancing for all they were worth; the sound is tangible, physical - I not only heard it but felt it throughout my entire body (I'm sure it's probably not good for you but not many things are!).

Jumping to the opposite end of the scale, but then again, maybe not ...

Taize - "Taizé, in the south of Burgundy, France, is the home of an international, ecumenical community, founded there in 1940 by Brother Roger. The brothers are committed for their whole life to material and spiritual sharing, to celibacy, and to a great simplicity of life. Today, the community is made up of over a hundred brothers, Catholics and from various Protestant backgrounds, from more than twenty-five nations."

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've visited there twice in my teenage years. This place is so popular that the main body of the church has add-on extensions to cater for the thousands that worship there in the height of summer.

From the outside it is a massive building, more ressembling a big shed than a church. But inside is a different matter. I've visited quite a number of churches and cathedrals in the past and I think the inside of Taize's main church is the most beautiful.

Behind the altar at the east end is the most simple backdrop - a jumple of open breeze blocks stacked this way and that with little candles lit at random in the gaps. It's like looking at a village on a distant hillside.

The rest of the building is very low lit, the strong smell of inscence fragrances the air, there are no pews to clutter the building - you can sit, kneel, lay down or stand. The hymmns are four part harmony chants in a variety of languages. Sonorous bells call you to prayer three times a day.

There is an overwhelming sense of peace in that place. It sounds strange to say this but indulge me - it would be almost immaterial whether or not you believed in God. Everyone could go there and find something in that place.

I am no longer a practising Christian, I now see myself as a humanist. However, should I ever find myself in the vacinity of Taize, I know that I'd visit that church on the hillside in a heartbeat.

Joyful Journeys.

The Monastery

I've just finished watching the first in a short series of "reality TV" shows that I might actually enjoy - The Monastery.

The series follows five laymen on a spiritual journey in a Benedictine monastery to discover if the 1,500-year-old monastic tradition has anything to offer a new generation. Although from very different backgrounds, all five participants share a desire to see if life holds any greater meaning.

Because of my christian upbringing, I've had experience of monastic life (albeit when I was much younger):

I have stayed at Hilfield Friary which is a Franciscan order,
I have also holidayed at an ecumenical community in Taize (come back later in the week for more info on Taize),

so I have some idea of what they are experiencing.

It was very interesting to see how the community life affected each man in the group. It was particularly interesting to hear how a protestant irish man felt so accepted and welcome within a roman catholic monastery.

If you get a chance, watch the next two episodes on 17th and 24th May on BBC2.

Happy Journeys.

The Wedding Planner, part three

The final post on wedding planning.

Guests
As much as you might like to invite the world and his wife, the food and drink has to be paid for so budget will pay a large part in the size of your guest list, as well as the capacity of your venue. This is another time when you might feel it appropriate to stick to your guns. There are some relatives that we absolutely did not want to invite for various reasons. If someone is not part of your life, do not feel that you have to invite them. Discuss this with your families and explain why. However, if the person(s) paying for the reception wants them there, you may have to be prepared to do some compromising.

List all your relatives, family friends, your close friends and then other friends. If you have a large family, make a decision what level of relationship you will include - i.e. Uncles & Aunts but not cousins, etc. If you decide not to invite children (as I did) pick a cut off age and stick to it across the board. Once you have your list, you may then have to prune or find you have space for more.

As many of our intended guests were overseas we sent out our invitations futher in advance than is normal. This had an added benefit. We had a number of friends and family friends that we had wanted to invite but couldn't due to lack of budget/space. When we found out that some people couldn't make it, we had time to send out more invitations to those people we couldn't previously invite.

Attendants
For the groom - your bestman should be solid and reliable. You don't want to be worrying about whether Joe will turn up with the car at the right time. Or whether Bob will forget to pick up his suit. Hubby couldn't decided between three good friends so he had all of them as groomsmen.

For the bride - do you want adult bridesmaids to go shopping with and to share your upsets, frustrations and achievements? or do you want to be surrounded by little sugar plum fairies? :o) I had two matrons of honour (who says you can't have two?).

I provided a list of tasks to my attendants and a rough schedule of the day. Unless they were humouring me, they seemed to appreciate knowing exactly what was required of them and at what time.


Things going wrong
Thankfully, these were few and far between. The more planning and thought you put into the day before, the less things should go wrong. By the morning of the day, you just need to relax as there is nothing more you can (or should) do but enjoy your day.

I had one button hole missing - one slightly stressed phone call to hubby later and I was calm again. He apologised to one person and said that we were a button hole short - no problem (I think the person was quietly a bit relieved!).

My bouquet wasn't quite how I wanted it but, as only I knew that, I was going to make an issue of it - it was lovely never the less.

One the groomsmen had different coloured trousers but I didn't realise until hubby pointed it out afterwards.

One thing to remember - your guests won't know what should happen so if anything does go slightly wrong just smile and carry on. Chances are, they won't spot it. If something more major goes wrong, try not to let it get to you. Provided that you and your fiance get married, the rest of it is peripheral. Everyone cares about you and wants you to be happy. They are there to witness this special ocassion not to expect a perfect performance.

Vows - I think most couples will worry about saying their vows properly. Thankfully we got ours right! We had the slight advantage of having my father conduct the ceremony - Dad gave me a copy of the marriage service in full so we could read over the vows but we were still quite nervous. So in the week before the wedding, we arranged for the three of us to walk through the entire service. We said all "our bits" in full and learned where we would sit and stand etc. Therefore, when we had the full rehearsal the night before we already knew roughly what was happening and, on the day itself, we knew exactly what was going to happen and we'd already practiced our vows twice so there were no hitches. I can't speak for all celebrants but I'm sure most would be happy to give you a copy of what you will be expected to say so you can practice if you're nervous.

As I mentioned previously, we both wanted to ensure that everyone felt welcome, included and relaxed. I had spent so much time on this one day but because of that planning we only had a few minor glitches and no last minute running around.

It was a remark from one of the groomsmen was one of the best compliments I could have received:
"We had a great time at your wedding. It was chilled out and relaxed unlike some of the hectic ones we've been to before."

That made everything worth while. We'd had a great day but not only that our guests had relaxed and enjoyed themselves too.

If there are any floundering brides-to-be out there, I'd be happy to help. :o)

Happy Journeys.

The Wedding Planner, part two

Continuing from my previous post ...

Doing things differently
Think of ways in which you can incorporate your personalities, interests, etc into your wedding day to make it more personal to you.

If you want to get married in a red evening dress, do it. I got married in a lilac medieaval-style dress and received nothing but fabulous compliments.

If you want to spend the night before the wedding with your partner, do it. Equally if you want to stay apart, do so. But do so because you want to follow tradition, not because of what anyone else says.

Also, be mindful of those taking part in your wedding.
Hubby and his best man weren't keen on making speeches, so they didn't - I made a speech instead. Hubby doesn't dance, ever, so we decided that we wouldn't have a first dance. Once we'd decided that, was there any need for a disco/band so we recorded our own backing CDs to be played.

Think about how you want to feed your guests - we decided on a later ceremony so we could have a meal with everyone and therefore no need for a buffet later. I can't stand fruit cake so we had little individually iced sponge cakes.

If you don't want to have a grand exit or rush off on honeymoon at midnight, don't. We sauntered to bed when we'd had enough. The following day we had brunch at a civilised hour at a local pub with family, attendants and our american guests. It was a nice way to round off the event.

Most importantly, we wanted our guests to be relaxed and enjoy the day as much as we hoped we would!


Finding Suppliers
You will have your own ideas of what makes a good supplier but I would suggest one criteria that I used. If I heard "this is what we will give you", I'd walk away or at least put them on the maybe pile. If they said "what do you want?" I'd listen up. Depending on what they are providing, you could be working with this supplier for quite a number of months, it's a good idea for you to be able to get on with them.

Bookmark webpages, print pictures out, tear pages out of magazines and catalogues. Keep a folder of ideas, pictures, styles, colours, flowers, menus fabrics, etc, etc. From my experience, suppliers much prefer to meet with couples who have an idea of what they want. Let's face it - it makes their lives easier if they're simply working out how to fulfill your requirements. If they have to work with you to find out what that requirement is, it takes longer! That said, when you have found a good supplier, trust their judgement and experience. They may offer ideas that you'd never even considered.

I also found that suppliers love it when you are doing something different from "the norm" - Invitations printed on textured parchment-coloured paper in the form of a scroll "Be it known, you are hereby requested and required to witness the ceremony of holy matrimony betwixt Mistress Rhea and Master Hubby" (hehe - I had great fun with that); tables named after locations in the Lord of the Rings; an elven-style silver circlet headress.

The most expensive is not always the best. I obtained three quotations for my dress to be made for me. I knew what I wanted, what colour, etc. I went to two "designers" and one dress maker. The designers both quoted £1500. The dress maker quoted £500 to 600 (depending on fabric). She was a fabulous lady and made sure I got what I wanted.

Tune in tomorrow for the final part - Guests; Things going wrong & Chilling out.

Happy Journeys.

The Wedding Planner

We've had a few gorgeous spring days in London recently. For some reason my thoughts are going back to our wedding day last summer. It was the hottest day of the year so perhaps that is what has prompted my thoughts.

Sufficient time has passed now that I can look back objectively and perhaps pass on some words of advice. Being a woman, I am writing this post from the Brides point of view and therefore it's primarily addressed to women but hopefully interesting to all.

I'm going to split this into three different posts:

1. Planning & Organisation

2. Doing things differently; Finding Suppliers

3. Guests; Things going wrong & Chilling out


Planning & Organisation
I spent 18 months planning our wedding. It sounds a long time but I'm glad I started early. It was made more complicated by the fact that we weren't getting married locally and we had some international guests. Instead of tackling everything at once, I addressed one thing at a time - starting with the date, church and reception venue bookings. Once they were in place, the schedule for booking and planning everything else pretty much fell in to place. I couldn't just pop round to see my suppliers so meetings had to be scheduled in clusters when I could travel home.

At the begining of your planning, get an idea of what sort of wedding you want and give yourself more than enough time to do it all. Lists are good! :o)

My Mum told her friends that I wanted every major thing done one month before the wedding, and all the little things done one week before the wedding, except the last minute things that have to be done on the day. They all laughed saying there was bound to be a last minute panic the night before, that I wouldn't manage it.

Guess what? the week before the wedding, all I had to do was pack our clothes and make a few phone calls to check arrangements. The days before the wedding family friends were asking for jobs to do. And I replied there are none (and yup, it felt good!). We pottered around, spent a few nights in the pub swapping stories with old friends and generally chilling out (which was needed as the nerves were beginning to kick in).

Step One - You and your fiance need to sit down and work out what you want out of your day. Men will have different areas of interests. They may not care about the colour of the napkins, but they'll probably be interested in the choice of food and drink. Always offer to include your partner in decision making (after all the day is all about partnership!) but if they're not bothered don't be offended.

Remember to separate the "wedding day" from the act of "getting married".

Now you have a first draft wedding. Once you have decided what sort of day you want - religious, civil, formal, informal, themed, etc - stick to your guns. You may have to compromise, through cost, availability, common sense, but don't compromise on the essence of your day.

Step Two - Your families have hopes and dreams too. Your mother has probably been thinking about your wedding day for many years! Explain what you want from your day and find out what their expectations are. They may suggest something that you'd never thought about. Consider this input. There may be things that you want to incorporate, other things that you'll compromise on, and others that you absolutely do not want. I'm not advocating being a prima donna or bridezilla but you want to create happy memories that you'll fondly remember for the est of your life, not have regrets about what you should have done.

Once you've got an idea of what you want - look at what's out there. There are plenty of websites, wedding magazines, chat sites, the celebrant, local suppliers, wedding fairs, etc, etc. But one word of warning - it is very, VERY easy to get carried away. The wedding industry is a massive one. There are many suppliers out there who try to persuade you that you really need their personalised product, their specialist service. I'm sure they all do a fabulous job but you need to assess each to see if they fit with your ideas and your budget.

You have to be brutally honest about what can be afforded. Dependent upon your cultural background, family circumstances and personal choice, it may be you, your family, your fiance's family, or a combination of these who will be funding the wedding. It can be very difficult to talk money but each contributing party should be encouraged to say honestly what they can afford of what aspect they would like to pay for. You should discuss your wishes for that aspect of the day and work together on the budget.

Speadsheet's are a bride's best friend! :o)

Tune in tomorrow for doing things differently and finding suitable suppliers.

Happy Journeys.

Heaven is what you make it

This might seem strange coming from someone who doesn't really believe in them, but if you could describe your own heaven and hell, what would they be?

This post was inspired by a conversation I had with my fabulous therapist (reflexology, massage, reiki and laughter) who gives my body and soul an MOT periodically.

Being vehemently non-maternal, hell for me could be a locked room full of screaming under fives! Elevated heart rate, adrenaline level off the scale, stress!! ARGH!! hehe

Bizarrely as I sit here writing this, it's more difficult to find a simple scenario as a counterpoint to that which just as strongly calms me and makes me feel happy. I think my heaven would be a more composite place, which probably makes more sense if you think about it. Negative things are restrictive, enclosed; positive ones are liberating and open.

Heaven would be a light airy cottage with solid comfortable furniture and beautiful artwork on the walls. The kitchen would have expanses of (self-cleaning) granite work tops, a (self-cleaning) double oven and cupboards filled with fresh organic free-range food. The bathroom would be warm and comfortable (when you have IBS, you tend to spend a fair amount of time in your bathroom so it's important for it to be nice!) with one of those fabulous cadbury-flake-advert free standing baths. I would have a reading room stocked with all my favourite authors and a pile of cushions to sit on while I indulged in my favourite hobby.

The garden would have a decking area for dinner parties on balmy sumer nights (no bugs or wasps please) where we could discuss ethics, current affairs, philosophy, science or the arts. The walls would be covered with fragrant sweet peas and climbing clemetis, I would have terracota pots filled with bright red trailing geraniums on either side of the steps leading to a herb garden with a central water feature. Through the herb garden there would be a meadow area with soft grass and clover to cool my toes. At the very bottom of the garden would be an ancient oak tree with bluebells peeping up between the roots.

And finally, especially as my hubby would be there with me, I'd better add a broadband internet connection!

Happy Journeys